September 1, 2018

September 1, 2018

I’ve been doing an unofficial poll around here, asking people if this is their first time in prison. For roughly 4 out of 5 guys I ask, this is not their first time down. Of course, I then ask, “Why did you come back?” Almost unanimously the story’s the same. It begins with them doing really well al first, and then drinking gets involved. There usually is an unhealthy relationship that develops. The drinking leads to drugs, and that kick starts a vicious whirlwind tour of crime, sex, and self destruction: The story is so common it has become cliché.

I can’t ever drink again. I know that. Drinking opens the door for drugs. It’s just that for most of my teens and all of my adult life when I was out there, I used substances to have fun and escape. Now I’ll be building a life free of that. I don’t even know what a normal life looks like. I’m excited to find out. Now that I’ve been in recovery programs for quite some time now, I know how important it is to set the tone right away when I get out. I plan to attend a meeting (A.A. or N.A.) the day I get released. They recommend 90 meetings in 90 days. It’s important for me to surround myself with sober people. I feel like I’ve caused so much pain and suffering in this life, and now it’s time to balance the scales, to bring as much positivity and happiness as I can. 

I don’t want my life to be a mere cautionary tale; I want it to be a story that inspires hope.