October 18, 2018

October 18, 2018

They pushed my release date back to November 29th. Central office audited my file and found that they had miscalculated my end date. Apparently this is quite common. It reminds me of that commercial where that old guy in waders has a fishing line with a dollar on it. “Hey there, I gotcha a dollar —Ohp! Too slow.”

I flipped out on the COIII. It was pretty out of character for me. I mean, he was totally being a pompous dick about it, but I shouldn’t have lost my cool like that. It was like all this stress, which I didn’t even know I had bottled up, came to the surface. It was embarrassing especially after I have spent so much time working on self-improvement. I should’ve had more control of myself. I apologized to him afterward, but I could have gotten a write up. That would have pushed my release date even further. I can’t do that sort of thing out there. It just reminds me that self-improvement is a never ending process.

And I know better than to put so much expectation into a future date. Setting goals and preparing for the future is all well and good, but when I start expecting things to go a certain way, and attaching myself to outcomes, is when I run into trouble. Now is all there is. The rest is all smoke and mirrors.